imperfecthope:

martin-of-crieffstonia:

can-we-just-no-we-can-t:

buzzfeed:

Dad jokes = the best jokes.

"Don’t be disgusting"

how is a toaster delivered in theory

FAVOURITE

(via choumander)

244356 Notes

ine-ffable:

taste-the-moon:

metalhearted:

This is perfection.
If you ever want to shut me up, let me ride shotgun, turn the music up, wind down the windows and drive me down a dark road under a starry sky.
This is when I’m at my best. 
I have a passionate love affair with the way the world looks from a moving vehicle.

ine-ffable:

taste-the-moon:

metalhearted:

This is perfection.

If you ever want to shut me up, let me ride shotgun, turn the music up, wind down the windows and drive me down a dark road under a starry sky.

This is when I’m at my best. 

I have a passionate love affair with the way the world looks from a moving vehicle.

(Source: henrrydelavega, via aabbieex)

983997 Notes

(Source: kushandwizdom, via iam-willll)

2851 Notes

(Source: kushandwizdom)

3615 Notes

There are some people who could hear you speak a thousand words, and still not understand you. And there are others who will understand — without you even speaking a word.

90376 Notes

(Source: kushandwizdom)

7636 Notes

dreamofmetonight:

This looks really good; this is how you shed the Disney image, and it totally doesn’t look like Vanessa Hudgens

(Source: youreworsethannicotine, via prayatnaxxx)

241745 Notes

marionisamuffin:

pleasantandcain:

fromladytolifter:

candidlycara:

dance-in-the-shadows:

gracediamondsfear:

wifeyknowsbest:

whatapreciouslittlefuckfox:


A sense of humor can make everything better. Sex isn’t like it is in the movies or in porn. There will be strange and weird and awkward sounds, there might be a silly interruption like the cat or a kid… you might knock heads or trip getting undressed. Sex is funny, foreplay is funny and sometimes you need to just laugh. It will keep things from getting awkward! If you take sex too seriously you aren’t truly enjoying it!
Not to mention a sense of humor can be really sexy no matter what your gender identity is!

this comic is literally my favorite thing on tumblr.

i’ve always said if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with while you’re having sex with them you shouldn’t be having sex with them.

God.
My husband once walked up behind me while i was sitting in the living room just watching t.v…and he put his penis on my shoulder and said “hello..”
THIS WAS HIS SEDUCTION.
THIS WAS HIS IDEA OF HOW TO GET ME INTO BED.
it worked, but not before I laughed for days.

For that last comment.

I always had a ton of weird funky condoms at my place because I volunteered with Planned Parenthood and did a lot of sex education and sex positive work. I literally had no less than like thirty different types of condoms at a time. So when it came time to grabbing a condom it was a grab bag of WHO KNOWS what you’ll end up with.
Long story short, my boyfriend grabs one, puts it on, heat of the moment type thing, a some point we both look down and see it’s an ELECTRIC GREEN condom. Dead pan he looks me straight in the eye and in his best impression goes “HEY HO. KERMIT DEE FROG HERE.” And I COMPLETELY LOST IT.
On a completely different occasion I said “don’t stop” and he sang ALL of Don’t Stop Believing. All of it. All of it. Right then and there. Without stopping.

Can I add the story about how me and one of my partners had a very enthralling discussion about deserts while I was on top of him?
Or the time my partner’s friends blasted “Eye of the Tiger” through the door and we rocked it out to the beat while quoting the movie?

Story time:
I was with this girl during a trip out to Washington, we’d hung out a few times, and hit it off really well. So we got together one afternoon. Her dorm-mate came home, saw the “Do Not Disturb” sock on her bedroom door and called out “Thrusters to full!”
Not missing a beat the girl and I yelled back “We’re giving it all we’ve got, Captain!” and her roommate started fucking dying outside the door.
Probably should have proposed right on the spot, but whatever.

It got better.

marionisamuffin:

pleasantandcain:

fromladytolifter:

candidlycara:

dance-in-the-shadows:

gracediamondsfear:

wifeyknowsbest:

whatapreciouslittlefuckfox:

A sense of humor can make everything better. Sex isn’t like it is in the movies or in porn. There will be strange and weird and awkward sounds, there might be a silly interruption like the cat or a kid… you might knock heads or trip getting undressed. Sex is funny, foreplay is funny and sometimes you need to just laugh. It will keep things from getting awkward! If you take sex too seriously you aren’t truly enjoying it!

Not to mention a sense of humor can be really sexy no matter what your gender identity is!

this comic is literally my favorite thing on tumblr.

i’ve always said if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with while you’re having sex with them you shouldn’t be having sex with them.

God.

My husband once walked up behind me while i was sitting in the living room just watching t.v…and he put his penis on my shoulder and said “hello..”

THIS WAS HIS SEDUCTION.

THIS WAS HIS IDEA OF HOW TO GET ME INTO BED.

it worked, but not before I laughed for days.

For that last comment.

I always had a ton of weird funky condoms at my place because I volunteered with Planned Parenthood and did a lot of sex education and sex positive work. I literally had no less than like thirty different types of condoms at a time. So when it came time to grabbing a condom it was a grab bag of WHO KNOWS what you’ll end up with.

Long story short, my boyfriend grabs one, puts it on, heat of the moment type thing, a some point we both look down and see it’s an ELECTRIC GREEN condom. Dead pan he looks me straight in the eye and in his best impression goes “HEY HO. KERMIT DEE FROG HERE.” And I COMPLETELY LOST IT.

On a completely different occasion I said “don’t stop” and he sang ALL of Don’t Stop Believing. All of it. All of it. Right then and there. Without stopping.

Can I add the story about how me and one of my partners had a very enthralling discussion about deserts while I was on top of him?

Or the time my partner’s friends blasted “Eye of the Tiger” through the door and we rocked it out to the beat while quoting the movie?

Story time:

I was with this girl during a trip out to Washington, we’d hung out a few times, and hit it off really well. So we got together one afternoon. Her dorm-mate came home, saw the “Do Not Disturb” sock on her bedroom door and called out “Thrusters to full!”

Not missing a beat the girl and I yelled back “We’re giving it all we’ve got, Captain!” and her roommate started fucking dying outside the door.

Probably should have proposed right on the spot, but whatever.

It got better.

(Source: erospainter, via prayatnaxxx)

687746 Notes

h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s:

cheesecakemaster:

imnotyourordinaryhipster:

ex-plicit:

bro-i-love-you:

ariesinger:

b0n-er:

together-well-make-it:

sorbet:

chic-models:

malisalynn21:

chordykins:

darren-is-a-hot-girl:

openyoureyesthenightmareisreal:

personalityshit:

my jam

didnt even make it 30 seconds in and had to reblog

oh my fucking everything

DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHERE THE PUSSY IS?

I DIED!

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i cant stop laughing

HAHAHA

i might fuck your mother one day.

When he threw his glasses… what a sexy mother fucker

CRYING HAHAHAHAH

omg LMFAO

the funniest shit of my lifeee

lol

hahahhaha OMFG! so funny!

This is the funniest shit i’ve ever seeen!

ladies and gentlemen…the NEW eminem

HAHA OH WOIYAHHHHH

ahahahahahaha, omfg… DEAD!

(Source: idegi, via choumander)

278723 Notes

(Source: mypervymind, via mrkmja)

7648 Notes

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